Letters to June, #29

Dear June,

Can you believe half the year has already passed? It felt like it was just last week I was anxiously freaking out about the new year and planning out my goals for the year.

Now I’m anxiously freaking out about how half the year has passed and I haven’t really done most of the things I wanted to do.

Like seriously, where has the year gone? What have I done? Yeah I accomplished quite a bit that one month but what about the other five months?

I’ve been working. Doing volunteer work. Baking. Working. Drinking coffee. Yeah, I guess that does take up most of my time.

You know what I want to do June? Do things that may seem odd and scary to do my yourself by myself. Like go to the movies. Eat at a sit-down restaurant. Randomly go to a park or tourist spot. Or do something I’ve always wanted to do but never had anyone to go with.

Yeah it’s nice to go with other people. It’s nice not to be alone. But it’s also nice (and good!) to be by yourself. 

There’s a difference to being alone and being by yourself June. To me, being alone means lonely. It means you don’t really have a choice because it’s something you feel. You can be with a group of people but still feel lonely or alone. But being by yourself is usually by choice. You’re in control.

I’m introverted so I like being by myself. I thrive on being by myself June. Especially reading. I had a long drive tonight by myself and it was quite lovely. I listened to the music I liked as loud as I wanted and I sang in my normal voice. It was nice. It was also dark outside which made me a bit nervous because I normally don’t drive at night, let alone by myself at night, but it was nice and peaceful.

But sometimes I do feel lonely. It does suck when you’re alone a lot. But that’s not the same as being by myself. 

I’d rather “be by myself” than “be alone”. How else would I get to know myself if I’m not by myself? How else could I learn to love myself?

So it’s okay to be by yourself June. We can be by ourselves together.

Love and all the good things,

Lar

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