Letters to June, #18

Dear June,

It’s almost been one year since I drastically cut my hair short. I’ve always had medium to long hair, even as a little girl. 

Then during my freshman year in high school I cut my hair into a really short bob. I’m talking about right above my shoulders June. And I really liked it. For about a day or two and then I really missed my long hair. But then during my senior year I cut my hair into a short bob again. Once my hair was long enough, I cut it so that it had nice long layers and left it to grow longer. And even when I went to get a trim I would always want to keep my length (which was greatly frowned upon).

So I’ve always had long hair. Before I cut it my hair used to be at my hips, the longest it ever was. I thought long hair was so beautiful and thought it made me look beautiful. I liked how it looked naturally wavy after I unraveled it from a bun. I liked how it looked when curled and when it was straightened. And I liked how it made me feel like I looked “skinny”. I could hide behind my long hair.

I knew I wanted to cut it short one day but didn’t know when. I wanted it to be a surprise to everyone, especially myself. Then I decided it was time to cut it short.

You know in movies June, how someone cuts their hair or changes their style when a big thing happens in their life? It’s mostly after a breakup.

But that didn’t happen to me. I didn’t breakup with anyone or vice versa. I just wanted to do it. I guess I was so scared before to being seen and that people would see me as fat. Because when you have short hair, there’s more of you to see and look at. And without my shield of long hair, I felt almost naked.

But it was also liberating June. 

I’ve cut my hair short once more since last year. And I plan on having it short for a while longer. A friend told me that I look younger with my hair short. And one of my best friend said she missed my long hair but she really likes my short hair. I miss my long hair too. It’s like friend I had to let go of. I know June, you think I’m being overly dramatic. But I loved my long hair. It was there with me through good times and bad time. But I also love my short hair. I never thought I would but I do. I feel happier and lighter. I feel like myself.

And hair grows, right June?

I’ll write to you soon.

Love and all the good things,

Lar

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