Excerpt From My Journal, #4

for the first time in three months
I saw you today
and when I heard your voice,
I couldn’t help
but smile to myself

but then I bite my lip
because you shouldn’t be able
to cause butterflies in my stomach
after all this time

when you told me,
“Hey, long time no see”
I wanted to punch your face
because you were the one
that cut me off

at least that’s what it felt like
when you suddenly stopped
talking to me

and when we shook hands
you held onto mine
for a bit longer than I expected

did you know what affect
that would do to my heart?

you shouldn’t be able
to make my heart beat faster
from seeing your new haircut

you shouldn’t be able
to make me feel so nervous when
I’m near you,
that I can’t even
look you in the eyes

you have no right
to have that kind of
hold
on me

I hate that even after all this time
one touch from you
and I’m remembering all the reasons
why I loved you

you make me forget
why I shouldn’t

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