Letters to June, #16

Dear June,

So there’s this guy who I really like. And I found out (from him) in February that he likes me too. Apparently we’ve liked each other for a while.

But we’re both 23, still young, and working on ourselves and have a list of personal goals we still need to reach. We both decided we’re not ready to start a serious relationship with each other yet. But we want to continue being good friends etc etc.

He lives in Washington – another state, two time zones away. I go to Washington once, maybe twice on a good year (my other sister lives there). Of course I see him whenever I visit, but it still isn’t enough. 

The thing is with him, he’s shy. I mean he is really shy. And I am too. And he’s more of a talk-on-the-phone person while I’m more of a texting person. But I thought that since we both know we both like each other, we’d talk more in between visits. It hasn’t been that way. I’m kinda used to it. And I’m not asking him to call me everyday or text me constantly. I just want to know he’s there and he’s thinking about me.

I can see his eyes and his smile. I can hear him saying “it’s all you”. Sometimes I look at his Instagram (even though he hasn’t posted anything in weeks) just so that I can see that upside-down smiley emoji that I know is meant for me. For us. I know that’s pathetic but I can’t help but have a need to see some sort of tangible evidence that he cares and that he likes likes me. That this isn’t a dream.

But there are some days when I don’t think about him and I feel bad. Have you ever felt like that June? But today two people brought him up and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

I really really like him. I might even like him more than he likes me. Do you think that’s a bad thing?

I’ll write to you soon June.

Love and all the good things,

Lar

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